Just finished doing dishes. Talk about a total mess. Now i'm sitting here on the couch looking around at the rest of the house as i right this and i cannot believe how messy everything is, so do not want to clean.

Anyways I suppose no one really cares about the cleanliness status of my house. so im going to sit here, eat some spicy sweet chili Doritos and just ramble for a bit, considering i havent been on blogger for almost a year i think its been? lord who knows. Im starting up again for my best friend. its probably a good way for the two of us to keep up with eachother in diary format, simply because texting long stories fucking BLOWS and LORD KNOWS i do not talk on the phone. ;) hahah

I am feeling very content lately.
I have a best friend that never fails me.
I have a husband who loves me.
And apparently, I have a child inside me. :)
haha
Im truly excited, i feel i am finally fulfilling what i am meant to be most; a mother.
I have constant dreams about this kid. Its crazy.
If we have a girl we are naming her Avery and if we have a boy we are most likely leaning toward Adam. i think i am going to talk to Ryan soon about making his middle name James. Since we are indeed making Avery's middle name Jane, after his grandmother, i really want to make Adam's James because of the most influential person i had in my life, Jim [James]. and i think Adam James sounds pretty cute. Can you tell Ryan and i are white? lol if you couldnt before, you can now with the names weve chose for the kids. haha

I have dreamt about Adam pretty much all week. All except for last night. I was almost sad not to have a dream about him last night. i got used to seeing his cute little face. He was adorable, with big greenish/blue eyes. and dark hair. even though he'll grow up to have blonde hair. lol. thats pretty inevitable. im really blonde and ryan was blonde as a kid, it didnt become a light brown until he was older.

Either way. i miss little Adam. haha. i liked those dreams. he was smiling. and such a little cuddle bug. with silly hair. hahah :)

anyways i really need to shower, ill check back in later.